Mom-ism #8  – or Mammo Part 3

July 23, 2015 at 10:01 pm (Mom-isms)

So, a callback for a mammogram means images, then sitting in a waiting room in a wrap, then back for more images and then more waiting.

After a third (or maybe fourth, I lost track) call to the mammography room…

Tech:  Okay, I think we got what we need,  but no guarantees.  We’ll have the radiologist look and see if he wants any more images.

Me:  Okay, but I’m gonna start charging you after this, because this many photos of my boob should be worth something.


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Mom-ism #7 – or Mammo Part 2

July 23, 2015 at 9:54 pm (Mom-isms)

Upon being called back for the second round of additional images…

Tech:  Okay, this time I want you to come in closer and put your breast bone against this edge…

Tech:  Now, put your right arm across this.

Tech:  Drop your right shoulder.

Tech:  Step back your right foot.

Tech:  Put the right arm back over here.

Tech:  Okay, I think we’re good.  So… just relax.

Me:  …

This was as awkward as senior pictures, when the photographer gets you all posed (drop your chin…not that much…turn to the right…not that much…smile…not that much) and then says “now act natural.”



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Mom-ism #6 – or Mammo Part 1

July 23, 2015 at 9:27 pm (Mom-isms)

So, I got a callback for a mammogram.

Tech:  okay, so we’re going to take several images using three different-sized paddles.

Me:  Okey doke.

She then directs me to the machine that has a paddle the size of a half-cup measuring cup.

Me:  Um…I don’t think that’s going to be big enough.

Tech:  *giggles*

After that one, she changed to one the size of a sandwich.

Me:  Okay, well, that’s a bit better.

Tech:  *more giggles*

Lastly, she puts one on that is the size of a textbook.

Me:  NOW we’re getting somewhere….

Tech:  *rotfl*

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Mom-ism #5

July 23, 2015 at 9:18 pm (Mom-isms)

A recent conversation about justification for skipping the gym:

Mom:  I ate healthy at the conference last week.

Bug:  So, tell me about this “healthy conference eating.”

Mom:  Well, I skipped a meal.

Bug:  That’s not healthy.

Mom:  I only had one sausage link at breakfast one morning.

Bug:  Because you’re a one-sausage kind of gal?

Mom:  I am rather monogamous about my sausage.

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