Bug-ism #89

April 27, 2017 at 2:52 pm (Uncategorized)

Instant Message conversation on 4/20/2017:

Mom: hey…do you have any vinegar and/or aluminum foil up there?

Bug:  ….no.

Bug:  wtf are you trying to make?  a bomb?



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Mom-ism #10

August 1, 2016 at 4:12 pm (Uncategorized)

July 31, 2016

While shopping together at Meijer, I headed to the dairy aisle while Bug headed another direction.  As we parted, this was our conversation:

Mom:  Do you need any cheeses?

Bug: No.

Mom:  Everybody needs cheeses.  (I actually shouted this to her across about 4 aisles).


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Bug-ism #89

August 27, 2015 at 7:28 pm (Bug-isms)

2015-08-22 11.50.24

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Mom-ism #9

August 24, 2015 at 4:26 pm (Mom-isms)

Mom: this makes me happy today:  Your Amazon.com order of “Swingline Electric Stapler…” has shipped!  I cut myself on a danged ol staple from our cheapie one and I told pa I wanted an electric stapler…so he bought me one.   ❤

Bug:  is it red?*

Mom:  no. black.  Like the color of a burned down building.*

Bug:  hahaha, nice.

*Only fans of the movie Office Space will get these references.

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Bug-ism #88

August 3, 2015 at 1:50 pm (Bug-isms)

While sitting in a nail salon, getting pedicures.

We were watching the music videos on the television and “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepson comes on.

Bug: That’s not how you wash a car.  She’s doing it wrong.

Mom:  *lol*

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Mom-ism #8  – or Mammo Part 3

July 23, 2015 at 10:01 pm (Mom-isms)

So, a callback for a mammogram means images, then sitting in a waiting room in a wrap, then back for more images and then more waiting.

After a third (or maybe fourth, I lost track) call to the mammography room…

Tech:  Okay, I think we got what we need,  but no guarantees.  We’ll have the radiologist look and see if he wants any more images.

Me:  Okay, but I’m gonna start charging you after this, because this many photos of my boob should be worth something.

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Mom-ism #7 – or Mammo Part 2

July 23, 2015 at 9:54 pm (Mom-isms)

Upon being called back for the second round of additional images…

Tech:  Okay, this time I want you to come in closer and put your breast bone against this edge…

Tech:  Now, put your right arm across this.

Tech:  Drop your right shoulder.

Tech:  Step back your right foot.

Tech:  Put the right arm back over here.

Tech:  Okay, I think we’re good.  So… just relax.

Me:  …

This was as awkward as senior pictures, when the photographer gets you all posed (drop your chin…not that much…turn to the right…not that much…smile…not that much) and then says “now act natural.”



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Mom-ism #6 – or Mammo Part 1

July 23, 2015 at 9:27 pm (Mom-isms)

So, I got a callback for a mammogram.

Tech:  okay, so we’re going to take several images using three different-sized paddles.

Me:  Okey doke.

She then directs me to the machine that has a paddle the size of a half-cup measuring cup.

Me:  Um…I don’t think that’s going to be big enough.

Tech:  *giggles*

After that one, she changed to one the size of a sandwich.

Me:  Okay, well, that’s a bit better.

Tech:  *more giggles*

Lastly, she puts one on that is the size of a textbook.

Me:  NOW we’re getting somewhere….

Tech:  *rotfl*

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Mom-ism #5

July 23, 2015 at 9:18 pm (Mom-isms)

A recent conversation about justification for skipping the gym:

Mom:  I ate healthy at the conference last week.

Bug:  So, tell me about this “healthy conference eating.”

Mom:  Well, I skipped a meal.

Bug:  That’s not healthy.

Mom:  I only had one sausage link at breakfast one morning.

Bug:  Because you’re a one-sausage kind of gal?

Mom:  I am rather monogamous about my sausage.

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Bug-ism #87

March 20, 2014 at 7:06 pm (Uncategorized)

Conversation in Sam’s Club on March 19:

Mom:  I want hot dogs, but I don’t want a box of 80 of them.

Bug: Just get it if you want hot dogs.

Mom:  But I don’t have room for that many wieners.

Bug: …

Bug:  That’s what she said?

(and then we broke into a fit of hysterical giggling that lasted through our walk to the checkout)

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